Twelve years ago I was vibrant, beautiful, full of life and a social butterfly. I was able to get along with just about everyone. I don’t know if it’s that saying the older the wiser is having that effect on me or if it’s because I have a hard time trusting people like I did before that is making me not want to socialize anymore. I don’t hang out with friends, I don’t have lunch with friends and I’m starting to miss it so much. I wish I could take my kids out on play dates and chit chat with the other moms and gossip about what celeb is hot or not, if that is what they do. Nope, I just stay home and hide from everyone. I feel so lonely and isolated and yet I am so scarred to get out and do things with others. I don’t know how to socialize anymore. I’m afraid I might say something that will offend them or scare them off.
The only other people I try to socialize with are my in-laws. Sometimes I wish my family lived close by but then again I am glad they don’t. I really dislike this feeling.
One of my goals once I start my therapy is to learn how to trust so I am able to socialize again. I would like to make some friends who would like to go out for lunch once in a while and talk about everything and anything that is going on in the world. A person who can accept me for me.